If you recall, last week I was stuck. I still am, but am working on the “unstuck project.” Step one as you recall, was a work related goal. To cut down on my current load and move back to some level of private practice. It is in full-forward motion. I have secured a furnished office space, a billing professional, and all the information needed for credentialing with various insurance agencies .
As I mentioned in my last post about being stuck, a lot of people have asked what other pieces the project entails. I am uncomfortable with revealing and talking about certain pieces, however the second stage of the “unsticking” that I am comfortable discussing is a need to get things together in my house, and a need to take some time off that is not entrenched in medical issues.
- With the exception of a somewhat disastrous week, I haven’t taken time off that is not medically related in almost ten years. I tried this year for the first time in a long time and it didn’t go so smoothly. I need time off. So I have managed to secure some time off next week (eight days) to get myself unstuck on the home front. I plan to take a modest vacation at some point, but haven’t made plans as yet other than to say it is part of the project and I am saving for it.
- SO the home front issues… I am working tomorrow, then I am off for the week. I haven’t told anyone but you, so that no one tries to take up my time. What am I going to do? Well, I have very limited storage in my home. I have literally one closet. It is a walk in and it stores everything in my house. I can’t currently walk into it. I usually keep it quite orderly, but the past two years have been kind of tough and I let it go. Part of why I let it go is part of why I am stuck. For those who don’t know me, my partner went missing five years ago and two years ago, we received news that he was presumed dead, but we don’t know. That closet is a tough place to clean out. I cleaned out his studio last year and now it’s time for home. I need some closure, but this is one of those things I need to accept (ie that I most likely won’t get closure), and one part of the project I am not comfortable discussing. Nuff said.
- I also just really feel the need to purge a lot of stuff… It’s not all his stuff… it’s just stuff I don’t need that is clogging up my life. I have to be careful with this, as I have a habit of just giving stuff away. My last tag sale was a sign that said “If you want it, please take it, it’s yours.” I did that because I don’t really care about the money, I care about the purge. I don’t want to drag all my crap out on to the lawn and dicker over a few dimes … then drag the same crap I was trying to get rid of back into the house when no one buys it… make it free, and it all disappears… try it … it works and you meet some fun people. I don’t have any regrets from that tag sale. I just know I have to be careful not to purge too deeply. Doug still needs his toys!
- Another issue is art. I have a lot of art, it’s one of my favorite things to receive from people. I love anything handmade and personal. All art feels personal in some way. I have some really great pieces. I know a lot of really good artists. I can’t possibly put it all out, but it is so personal it’s not something I could get rid of. So what do I do? Any suggestions?
THAT is where the current “unstuck project” sits. Motivation is tough … send me good vibes…please? Thanks.
ON WITH THE TToT!
While he is as dumbfounded as a box of rocks, Doug appears physically well and happy. The stroke he suffered last week has left him more confused, but with very little increase in his other physical issues. So, he and I are both happy. In a few months he will be 16 years old, and at that ripe old age, he symbolizes the end of an era in this household. I want him to be happy and healthy. He is very much a part of this unstuck thing. Doug is the last vestige of my old life that is really left. I miss my old life quite a bit, and I know I will miss Doug as much when the time comes. This past week was a bit too close for comfort. His age is on the list of things I don’t have to like but must accept.
I am mega-grateful for Doug’s recovery.
I am mega-grateful that if he must be confused from old age and dementia, that he is still happy… oblivious perhaps … but happy.
Gratitude this week that my Mom, who was having a tough week last week is also recovering and doing much better.
Gratitude that I got another piece of art from my nieces husband ( an amazing artist).
Gratitude that Six Sentence Stories has taken off because if it weren’t for that and TToT I would most likely not be blogging at all lately. Thanks to Josie for letting me host it! She is one of the best… truly.
Gratitude that tomorrow is my last day of work for a week.
Gratitude for a fab. therapist who manages to center me in some reality. He also judges my blog contests.
THAT SAID, THE WINNER OF THE CONTEST IS LIZZI WITH:
It’s tough to make poems a science
Though I study, I don’t show compliance
My soul is a rebel
(I won’t even rhyme)
And I drench every verse with defiance.
I am also grateful that people humor me with these silly contests.
You all should be grateful for my therapist as well ,as he thinks this past contest was too tough. So the next one should be a breeze.
Thanks to everyone who plays, and to everyone who plays the SSS game as well!
Lastly I’m grateful for blog friends… most recently I have so much to thank Kristi1 and Kristi2 for… I really appreciate you both and owe ya both a note at the very least, but I just haven’t gotten my act together enough yet… but know I appreciate you both and all the help and support you’ve given me… thank you! Thanks! Thanks so much…