Q: SO, HOW DO I KNOW IT’S TIME FOR AN “UNSTICKING” UPDATE?

A: BECAUSE I AM SO-O-O RESISTANT TO DOING IT!

I am at work sitting at my desk at times gazing out the window at the street below thinking ” No one would know or care if ya didn’t get to this today.” See there? ” …didn’t get to this today,” is blatant dishonesty of knowing full well I am in avoidance and if indeed I don’t “…get to this today,”  I will not get to it again. So in the interest of not fooling myself at the very least… off we go…

Step 1. Last we met I had modified this one to be a change in overall behavior. I have to say I have been better overall, but not as good as I need to be about it. I truly don’t think I was aware enough of where I was messing up and now with some vigilance can change it further.

Step 2. I met with the person whom I have hired to help with the business end of going to private practice. We now have completed the lengthy paperwork and all the steps are in place for paneling with insurance, etc. I have an office space. I have verbally put out the word and have secured some referral sources. Now it is just a waiting period to hear from insurance companies and then write a note off to referral sources informing them of what panels I can take.

Step 3.The great household purging is complete and being maintained. My closet is still a walk in and my kitchen table is still able to be used for meals, et al. The process dug up some memories I have been struggling with for a bit, but overall a really good thing. Tseering’s birthday is next week and I suspect after it passes the anniversary date stuff will feel relieved and I can also purge my soul a bit more as well.

Step 4. Total success. The time off was necessary and well deserved. I am meeting the Brit next weekend and taking a bit more time at the end of the month. Maintaining this one is going to be the biggest challenge as health often takes priority in my ability to afford time off.

Step 5. The family is cool and still cordoned off in appropriately boundaried spaces.

Step 6.  So this is what I wrote the last update: ” I am having more than a few issues with this step. I have to address some ongoing health stuff. Part of the goal is related to attrition of this faulty vessel I call my body … I am not good at not pushing… I need to find some way to tolerate the down time better. I am not only bored but feeling angry for when I must sleep or take down time.” Well be careful what you decide to bitch about or you may find more of it coming your way. I keep thinking back to when I had the great pleasure of meeting Kristilkpojphj a few weeks ago and she said  something like, ” Wow, you really are a closed book.” I have often been told this, as I think I am all “out there” and am painfully uncomfortable with it, only to find I’m not out there at all. Oh well. I’m ok with that, but let me fill you in a bit. I have a chronic blood disease that lands me on my ass in this placeunnamed (10) for short periods of time. I’m hitting the wall and quite fatigued of late and found out yesterday that I need to go back for a few steady treatments to recover. I’m ok with that on some level …. but as I said above… I’m not good with down time. I may be exhausted, but…some days it’s more like a bizarre paradox .Old-Energizer-Bunny--38591 Look! We have the same glasses! 

What it all amounts to is I have to get better at getting better, or at least tolerating the maintenance of this body in which I live. I am happy to say my feet are recovering really well. Remember my fancy shoes? They were worth every penny unnamed (9)as is all the athletic tape holding my arches up.

There was another part on the last update: Subsection a: ” I also have another part of this that I must commit to, and haven’t as yet as I don’t feel ready… I gotta get ready… So far this is my biggest stickler in the unsticking… I am just so fed up with the limits of this illness and body that I have become fairly intolerant of the constant “one more thing…” I would like to say I am working on it, but I’m not certain that I am. I may be just thinking about it constantly, and doing nothing to get my head space in a different place. This one needs work.”

I committed to this one right after I wrote the above… Maybe I just needed to hold myself more accountable? I don’t know. Either way . I am there. I have to change some dietary things that were already too complicated for my liking, but I have to do it to rid myself of feeling like I haven’t done everything I possibly can to get unstuck,  so I will.  It’s a real challenge and ongoing but so far, so good if you don’t count all the anger and resentment.

Step 7. I am trying to reconnect on some level  with my faith and spirituality in general. I would like to belong to something more formal but recognize I am not yet ready to do so… so I will keep working on it and am actively doing that.

Step 8. The effing book. Still waiting on a few readers and then I hope to feel a bit more motivated to make the changes I think it needs. As far as I’m concerned, I have plenty of time for this one.

Step 9. Is maintaining that which I must. This whole project is an exercise in step 9. So is Doug and his health. He is doing fine. We took him off the cognitive diet as it was making his stomach upset. Otherwise he is cool… download (5)He is my best boy… He is … DOUG… The car I must also maintain as I cannot afford a new one… It is now at 201,000 miles and gaining. Whew!

Doing this review was really good for me because it let me see I HAVE been working hard at this… BUT, …Let’s just make this an even 10 shall we? I am grateful for the progress I’ve managed to feel in the “great unsticking of 2015,” for all the support I’ve received around it. I am also really happy to see so many folks taking part in Josie’s brainchild of Six Sentence Stories… It was always one of my faves when she hosted it, and I’m so grateful she lets me do it as it’s even more so for me now… The cue will be up on Sunday. See ya then!

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32 thoughts on “Q: SO, HOW DO I KNOW IT’S TIME FOR AN “UNSTICKING” UPDATE?

    1. I cant wait to see you either… I will text you the room number when I get there. I have to go get the Brit and will talk to the desk about leaving you a key in case we arent back yet.

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  1. I agree with Kristi! You’re doing an awesome job, and it also is important to grant yourself some leeway, if you need to take care of yourself or just have a personal day off everything. Glad that Doug is doing so well, and that the car is holding up.

    Have a great new week, Ivy! And thanks for hosting the Triple-S!!!

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  2. All I can say, Ivy–is that you’re an incredibly Great example to all of us. It’s hard when there’s much we want to do, and our bodies/minds don’t always have the energy/health to cooperate; hard to just “go with the flow”. Although I don’t know everything about you/your life–what comes through in your posts is a spirit similar to mine: a stubborn unwillingness to give up….even when we SOOO want to (speaking just for myself now). God bless you BIG! much love to you and sweet Doug, xxoo-Val

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  3. I think your unsticking project/process is fantastic and hooray for you for all of it. Have I told you that I admire you beyond explanation? I do.
    And HOLD ON a minute….you met Kristi??? When did this happen and how the HELL did I miss that???

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  4. Can I just comment on how Doug looks so very fluffy in that first photo? Even though it’s gone now and I’m sure I saw it?

    So here is where I confess to being one of those weirdos who wants to know exactly what blood disease, so I can research the hell out of it and try to understand. But I get your need for privacy too.

    Shoes that make your feet feel good are worth their weight in gold. Shoes that make your feet feel good all the way up to your back are worth five times their weight in gold. I’m happy for your feet.

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    1. He is a flufferbutt! Its in saturdays post. Its a form of nonhodgkins disease. Usually old guys get it… lucky me. WHat those shoes lack in the girlie they make up for in the comfort and function! I agree!

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  5. I applaud you for wanting to be unstuck. So many people (sometimes me) just wallow and whine and complain about what they hate about their lives and do nothing about it. Your drive to unstick is a sign of extreme health. Go, you. (Love to Doug)

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  6. I see this whole project as holding yourself accountable, and I know from experience that it’s the hardest thing to do… and yet you are doing it, and that challenges all the rest of us to start doing the same. If Ivy can, maybe we can! If you can, what possible excuse do I have for not doing it? Making changes is one thing, it takes some pretty heavy soul searching and a willingness to see it like it is, but staying committed to those changes, following thru, and maintaining the progress, that’s the really tough part. It is much like losing weight and keeping it off! I smile in reading that your table is staying cleared, ours is… on and off, and there is no reason it shouldn’t be. I think I will tackle that project today, and stop making excuses for not tackling anything at all! 🙂

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  7. Very nice wrap up in the TToT. You are doing a marvelous job at the unsticking. I must say, I was happy to see #8. The words “a few” and “not in a hurry” were the best part. 🙂 I don’t want to be any part of the reason you get stuck in the unsticking! I’m working on it!!

    You all are going to have so much fun next week!! Oh how I wish I could be at the Big New Jersey meet up!

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  8. I saw this funny thing on facebook recently–hell for all the Myers-Briggs personality types. I’m most consistently INFJ though my N/S is borderline. Being a SAHM brings out the P in me too. Less motivation to complete stuff, etc. Really the I and the F are my only strong-ish ones. Anyhow, I identified with the ISFJ which was, I think, that everyone is fighting and it’s all your fault. Yep, that sounds like hell. And the INFP, which was that everyone knows all your secrets and is laughing at you (something like that). This blogging thing is funny–oversharing is encouraged and is a good thing at times but every time I do I feel horridly uncomfortable. But what’s weird is that I think things should be out in the open and I probably do share a great plenty. Anyhow. Rambling.
    Love that pic of you and Kristi! See you SOON! That’s CRAZY!!!!

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  9. I think just knowing that you need to get better at getting better means you are getting better. 🙂
    Thank you for all you do with the Six Sentence stories. We love doing them!

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