So the great unsticking has gone better in some areas than in others. Some goals are met… the closet remains true to its name as a “walk in.” The kitchen table while covered right now with an art project is not typically covered in mail or other stuff that I may be procrastinating about. I can clean it up at the drop of a hat and have dinner on it if I so choose. So I think those goals are met. My partner’s things have been cleared out of his studio and things that were important to myself and others have been bequeathed to the appropriate people. I feel like I have somehow allowed him a bit more rest.
Things that need work: I was doing great on the money stuff until the infamous car crash in September. My goal was to keep the medical vampires at bay (ie the medication copays needed to be managed with talking to several companies) and to be able to put away enough bucks to get a new car (if I could keep this car going through the winter.) That may need to happen sooner than expected now that the car is technically “totalled.”
Along with keeping the car going , keeping Doug going was also a priority and remains so. He is doing well for a demented old guy. He has this nasty thing on his neck that looks as though he is trying to grow a second head. We are getting it checked out next week. Obviously if it just needs to get removed we will do that and Doug is well enough to tolerate it… I hope I’m not sounding like a jerk to say I have no intentions of biopsy, or treatment beyond acute care to avoid discomfort or infection. He is 16 years old and quite anxious, and I am not putting him through anything ridiculous. The thoughts of losing Doug some day is incredibly tough for me, but the thought of him being in pain or anxiety ridden is beyond tolerance. He is quite healthy for an old guy and he is more than happy, so I am not worrying too much.
I am trying to pay more attention to my spiritual life. I am not sure about this one on so many levels. It remains incredibly private to me so I will just say that I went through a pretty rough patch with the loss of my health and partner and am recouping slowly. I am most appreciative of the help from friends who assure me it will happen… I can only believe they know what they’re talking about.
The private practice is under way. I have a sign on the building… impressive I must say. Cards, stationery and clients… It’s going slowly but it’s enjoyable and starting to pay off a bit I hope. I put in my first claim this month and have gotten a few co-pays… all sounds ridiculous, but it’s pretty cool to be working on my own again. This is the new office… My friend is loaning it to me when he’s not there. Fabulous friends… SOOO fortunate!
The health goals were put on some level of hold until I can manage the acute problem. It is happening and will catch up at some point. I am currently in a holding pattern.
I spent time this summer taking some time off and trying to figure out what I can do for fun. In thinking about this problem at length I have come to realize I never made the transition from an active physical life to the current state I am in now due to chronic health/CA issues, because of that I haven’t associated fun with anything but outdoor physical activities… I manage to do a ton of things… maybe too many per some people’s opinions, but I can’t say I think of any of them as “my passion” per se. I was talking to a friend who sustained the loss of a very close loved one as well. She described it best as being able to go on with her life because she needs to, but everything is kind of seen through a foggy, smudged up lens… it’s not so much depression as a perception that something is missing… I’m not sure how to describe it, but this is one place that the unsticking has evolved. I feel the need to find what I can think of as fun or at least interesting again, but within the limitations of my current physical capabilities.
With that in mind I am finally paying some attention to the book. I am trying to decide if I am just going to peddle it as is or make further changes. I can’t help but think that the people who read it so far are just being nice and it really is lacking. Not that I don’t believe them, it’s that I just don’t think of myself as a writer and don’t like the book myself…I have some decisions to make.
Okay so that’s the update… some things are met and I’m done with them to the point that I feel they are integrated enough to be part of my life now… others continue to need work or are currently evolving into something more involved than I initially thought.
Thanks for checking in… recognize that I am thankful for all kinds of things in this situation, but if you feel the need let me cite SBOR/BOSR rule 5.8 subsection 32d as the rule stating one can use a long-winded narrative suggesting ones gratitude over the use of ten specific items… and here is the dance.