The Great Unsticking Progresses 2015

So the great unsticking has gone better in some areas than in others. Some goals are met… the closet remains true to its name as a “walk in.” The kitchen table while covered right now with an art project is not typically covered in mail or other stuff that I may be procrastinating about. I can clean it up at the drop of a hat and have dinner on it if I so choose. So I think those goals are met. My partner’s things have been cleared out of his studio and things that were important to myself and others have been bequeathed to the appropriate people. I feel like I have somehow allowed him a bit more rest.

Things that need work: I was doing great on the money stuff until the infamous car crash in September. My goal was to keep the medical vampires at bay (ie the medication copays needed to be managed with talking to several companies) and to be able to put away enough bucks to get a new car (if I could keep this car going through the winter.) That may need to happen sooner than expected now that the car is technically “totalled.”

Along with keeping the car going , keeping Doug going was also a priority and remains so. He is doing well for a demented old guy. He has this nasty thing on his neck that looks as though he is trying to grow a second head. We are getting it checked out next week. Obviously if it just needs to get removed we will do that and Doug is well enough to  tolerate it… I hope I’m not sounding like a jerk to say I have no intentions of biopsy, or treatment beyond acute care to avoid discomfort or infection. He is 16 years old and quite anxious, and I am not putting him through anything ridiculous. unnamedThe thoughts of losing Doug some day is incredibly tough for me, but the thought of him being in pain or anxiety ridden is beyond tolerance. He is quite healthy for an old guy and he is more than happy, so I am not worrying too much.

I am trying to pay more attention to my spiritual life. I am not sure about this one on so many levels. It remains incredibly private to me so I will just say that I went through a pretty rough patch with the loss of my health and partner and am recouping slowly. I am most appreciative of the help from friends who assure me it will happen… I can only believe they know what they’re talking about.

The private practice is under way. I have a sign on the building… impressive I must say. Cards, stationery and clients… It’s going slowly but it’s enjoyable and starting to pay off a bit I hope. I put in my first claim this month and have gotten a few co-pays… all sounds ridiculous, but it’s pretty cool to be working on my own again. This is the new office…unnamed (1) My friend is loaning it to me when he’s not there. Fabulous friends… SOOO fortunate!

The health goals were put on some level of hold until I can manage the acute problem. It is happening and will catch up at some point. I am currently in a holding pattern.

I spent time this summer taking some time off and trying to figure out what I can do for fun. In thinking about this problem at length I have come to realize I never made the transition from an active physical life to the current state I am in now due to chronic health/CA issues, because of that I haven’t associated fun with anything but  outdoor physical activities… I  manage to do a ton of things… maybe too many per some people’s opinions,  but I can’t say I think of any of them as “my passion” per se. I was talking to a friend who sustained the loss of a very close loved one as well. She described it best as being able to go on with her life because she needs to, but everything is kind of seen through a foggy, smudged up lens… it’s not so much depression as a perception that something is missing… I’m not sure how to describe it, but this is one place that the unsticking has evolved. I feel the need to find what I can think of as fun or at least interesting again, but within the limitations of my current physical capabilities.

With that in mind I am finally paying some attention to the book. I am trying to decide if I am just going to peddle it as is or make further changes. I can’t help but think that the people who read it so far are just being nice and it really is lacking. Not that I don’t believe them, it’s that I just don’t think of myself as a writer and don’t like the book myself…I have some decisions to make.

Okay so that’s the update… some things are met and I’m done with them to the point that I feel they are integrated enough to be part of my life now… others continue to need work or are currently evolving into something more involved than I initially thought.

Thanks for checking in… recognize that I am thankful for all kinds of things in this situation, but if you feel the need let me cite SBOR/BOSR rule 5.8 subsection 32d as the rule stating one can use a long-winded narrative suggesting ones gratitude over the use of ten specific items… and here is the dance.

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37 thoughts on “The Great Unsticking Progresses 2015

  1. Apparently, I am the only member of the TToT with nothing better to do this weekend than claim “Frist” on everyone’s posts.

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  2. You’ve come a long way with the unsticking! (WordPress doesn’t like that word, but it doesn’t like “wordpress” either, so whatever.)
    I love your office space. I would come lie on that couch and tell you everything I know.
    If you get a new car, then I win the crown for having the crappiest car in the TToT.
    You are not a jerk about Doug. You are wise.

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    1. The new car is not possible for some time unfortunately … so if you think you can beat a bicycle which will be all I can afford then the crown is yours! Thanks for the word on Doug… I am always nervous about that.

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      1. My husband always says “there will be no kitty dialysis”. As much as we love them, there is a limit to what you can spend on a pet. He has never set a limit, but he said just know there is one. So far, none of them have exceeded it. There’s probably an unspoken limit on me, too, now that I think about it 🙂

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  3. I don’t know what FRIST means, maybe I’m not supposed to… I always read these post with my heart on my sleeve. I want to wave a magic wand and make it ALL BETTER, Perfect even!! But all I can do is keep praying, mightily (for you AND Doug), and send you long-distance love from a stranger. Giving thanks for All that you have–strength to keep keepin’ on, good friends close by. xxoo, J

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    1. Frist was a bit of a game started by Clark at the Wakefield Doctrine… YOU/ EVERYONE has the right to claim FRIST when you are the first to comment on a TToT post! Well some folks use it for any post.. so theres that too… I am doing quite well… been through a lot but for what Ive been through I figure I came out the other side so…. but I will thank anyone and take any and all prayers and well wishes! SO THANK YOU MY FRIEND… and feel free to claim frist in the future!

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      1. My Snowball is 13. We adopted him at 8, and he is always anxious in the car. It is a pain to take him for car trips so although he acts like he wants to go when I leave the house, I usually don’t take him because he’d cry in the car.

        You’re not a jerk for not electing biopsy for Doug. I know it’s not the same, but I see 80-90+ year olds very sick patients who could not speak for their own . . . and whose loved ones seek for the most aggressive and usually painful measures to prolong life. In some cases it is so wrong.

        Hoping the best of health/comfort to you and your dog.

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  4. Well, I’d just love to sit (or lie) on that beautiful red couch and tell you all my perceptions that need sorting out. And really it was Clark (I should have known) that started FRIST? I thought it was Lizzi and a typo. LOL. Learn something new every day – which is a very good philosophy. Those thoughts (and feelings) about Doug and not subjecting him to anything traumatic or hurtful is a very loving and caring decision. ((((hugs)))))) to you and Le Caniche.

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    1. If it had a funky start it can most likely be traced back to the Doctrine… The virgins were the brain child of cyndi but she just made a funny comment at the Doctrine and the dungeon keeper over there ran with it!!! Thats why we love him!!!

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  5. I’ve had relationships end by someone’s choice rather than circumstance, and even without health issues it takes a long time to get back that ‘something’. I can’t define it any better, but I know what you mean. When you have it, everything else has more clarity and meaning.

    I know exactly what you mean with Doug’s emerging second head. I have a golden retriever and they are very susceptible to hemangiosarcoma. I’ve already made my decisions, and even though it will break my heart to act on them if I have to, I know they are the best ones for him and I owe him that.

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    1. Yeah its a combo for sure… Not to whine but between health and spouse the losses have been profound… I just cant seem to bounce back… Certainly dont wanna lose Doug but like you will do what i must.

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  6. I love the postures that make up so much of a dog’s vocabulary, especially (and I smiled when I saw it at around 0:04) the ‘lets play’ signal, i.e. the front legs out at an angle, slight crouch… I’ve been known to perform this gesture when meeting a dog, like, if I’m going to a client’s home for the first time, lol ( I also find that dogs get a kick out of it if you stick your tongue out and make panting noises…)
    yeah, they are perfect life forms

    Dyanne is Miss FRIST this week fer sure.

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  7. Thank you for the updates. I hope that vet appt. brings some not-bad news for you. Roy the Wonder Dog has managed to get heartworm, and we’ve decided not to treat it. We’re just going to let him live out his days having fun and not going through the miserable treatments.
    Good job keeping that table cleaned off! It is a constant battle at our house.
    I’ll be praying for you. That you find a way to have fun, that you find your way back in your spiritual life, that you find some peace and joy. You are frequently on my mind, and not just because a good friend just had her baby and named it “Ivy”. 🙂

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    1. oh ROY! WHY did ya go and do that!? My friends dog had a similar problem. THey made the same decision… I think it was best. She lived out the rest of her days very happy vs miserably ill. THanks so much for the thoughts and prayers. and IVY! huh!? awesome!

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  8. I was reminded of being thankful for health and quality of life this week too.
    I don’t fault anyone for doing what they can to make sure their pet isn’t suffering. My guide dog suffered a lot at the end of her life.
    I am no expert on the rules of TToT, but mine this week may or ay not have been more than ten things, but it all works out in the end.
    🙂

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    1. I still have to get around to everyones post… so overdone this week in the time department… money and time are pretty hot commodities for everyone I guess. so its a good thing to have to be thankful for things like health… I will be over soon…

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  9. Let me tell you what! that is one peppy, agile 16 year old! Go Doug! It’s natural to worry but not all growths and such turn out to be “things” to deal with. Hopefully, Doug’s just got the old people weird wart syndrome that seems to happen to some dogs. Our lab Harlee had all kinds of bumps and growths and such as she reached a certain age. She was a mess lol. (but ya know, we never told her 😀 )
    Book, business, movement forward…I’m in your corner ivy.
    Hey. You’re right. Dyanne’s been FRIST all over the place!

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  10. I love your red couch too. It reminds of the red couch where I sometimes get a massage. It certainly brightens up the office. Some of the hardest things is to have to have a pet put down, but you will know if and when the time is right. Hugs. I think I enjoyed just hearing your voice as much as I did watching and listening to Doug. 🙂

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    1. My friend Richard , who takes all the photos, is loaning me his office on the day he doesnt use it… so its his red couch… Its a fabulous couch though!!! If I could move it to my other office I would… but he would come looking for it I bet!!!! Thanks , what a sweet thing to say about the vid!!!!

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  11. You are not a jerk. I don’t think it is in your nature to be one, either. You make compassionate decisions, and sometimes that isn’t easy.
    If you are not a writer, I definitely am not a runner, and since I think you will say that I am a runner, you get to be a writer. I have enjoyed the bits and pieces you have shared on previous blogs, and I’m not just saying that.
    My walk in closet is still a bit of a misnomer. One of these days, it will be beautifully organized.
    You can trust your friends. 🙂

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    1. RUN~! RUN LIKE THE WIND! But do it in bits and pieces at first! hahahahahah! I know in my heart I can trust my friends (perfect advice) I just gotta get my head and heart on the same page.

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