I Guess I’m Just Gonna Go Random Until I Can Write Better

Like I  said  in yesterday’s post. I’ve been having trouble writing. So the random thing seems to be the most successful exercise so far…. and so…. it continues….(Did the opening credits for Days of Our Lives just go through anyone else’s head?)

So nothing like yesterday’s screaming man of North Street happened on the way in this morning. Before I left the house Doug had a pretty good seizure. He is having them a few times a month or so. They were more often, but I think we have them back under control. Doug turned 16 last November. He is one old puppy. My biggest fear is of course in losing him. It’s not so much that he will die (as we all do) but that he may need assistance with that. I do hope he is like his predecessor1003011157_0001 Zebulon the Great who died at 15 after falling asleep, never to wake again.

e209d342-37d3-4e63-bcea-b5493721eaac I’ve said it before, but Doug represents the end of an era around here. He was the last to arrive before my partner died. He’s0617101024a escorted Tseering, Zeb, Zoe and Irish from the world. He hasn’t even been with me that long. Apparently a lot happens in six years. Lest you think I left him to fend for himself today, he will be going to the hair salon with one of my housemates.

*****

I returned to the doctor yesterday as my cough has returned. Still have pneumonia. Apparently the difference between walking pneumonia and regular pneumonia is not that one is preceded by the boogie-woogie-blues, but rather that if you remain upright and functional through it, it is the former.

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Tuesday is my hardest work day. It is the day I dread at my job. It’s not because of the clients per se, it is instead because Tuesday is kind of like what sophomores are to the high school experience. Sophomore year my then physics teacher said, ” everyone hates a sophomore, kind of a bummer for you  guys…”  He went on to say that  because we weren’t newbie freshman or cool seniors, hell we weren’t even juniors working our way up to cool seniors, that we were just a stain on the high school experience. Nice guy, lucky me he left the school the same year I graduated and I had him for college physics too. Anyway, Tuesday is a sophmore to me. It’s not Monday which marks a push for the week and it’s certainly not Wednesday. Wednesday for me marks a two-day hiatus from this clinic once it’s done. I don’t generally live for the weekend but Tuesday is something different. It also illustrates how I know I am not in a great place in my head. Because while I can still talk myself into being open-minded about the day, I am still looking forward to getting out of here tomorrow. I typically don’t feel that way, and further more, I find myself feeling rather petty and jealous of other people’s time away. I really need to avoid humoring my lesser self.

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My sister is heading to Mexico this week. Hopefully she will let go of the idea that my mother belongs in assisted living. Mexico can do that.

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005bc594-02ff-4b9e-b931-bcc894f425c5 Last week I traded offices for a day with one of my co-workers who needed a larger space for a meeting she was conducting. Her office was my former office and it was a closet. No really, it was a closet. Didn’t even  have a window. She left me a message on my machine saying that several of the clients  in her group meeting remembered me from when I was working a different job in the community, and to put it succinctly, they were really grateful to be in what they felt was a space with a good vibe. It was really  sweet… gushy even… not bad for a Tuesday.

 

 

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17 thoughts on “I Guess I’m Just Gonna Go Random Until I Can Write Better

  1. I like your new random blogging, in fact I love it!

    I have had a closet space office, literally too, and environment makes all the difference! Our law office is on the 9th floor and when I started here I had a wonderful office with a window – a real window for the first time in years and years of jobs. Then they created a new reception area – without windows – and here I am back under the fluorescent lights all day again. SIGH I miss my window! I also find myself feeling jealous of the time others have to structure as they please, and then I feel bad for feeling jealous, I am blessed to have a good job with no supervisor hanging over me as I do my work each day. I have great co-workers too!

    My heart goes out to my favorite old guy – Skip and to you. Walking through these less than golden years is so emotionally difficult. I also pray that one day when he is ready he will fall peacefully to sleep, but I know that if he needs a little help you will do what you must because you love him that much.

    What a teacher to say something like that to a class of students! Geez, way to start the year and the tone of things to come! I wish you a blessed Tuesday that flies quickly and a Wednesday that’s even better… I know you look forward to the days that follow. We all love our “weekends” even if we try our best to live in the moment. Is surviving in the moment good enough? XOXO

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    1. Your comment about the golden years makes me think of an old Dangerfield joke….the only thing golden about it is my urine sample….ick! Gosh i DO love your comments!

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  2. This random stuff is the stuff of which everyday life is made. I’m glad you’re posting, spilling whatever is on your mind. (I think it might be good therapy). Plus I feel some lighthearted Ivy coming through.

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  3. I’m good with random too. And awwww to good vibes felt by the people who know you. I agree. You leave good vibes. Also I really REALLY hope you don’t have to help Skippy Doug out with when it’s time…

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  4. I like the random theme, too–lets me know what’s goin’ on, and your take on things usually gets a smirk of amusement out of me–Smirking’s not a bad thing, rather good most days! I’m quite taken by your words re “not humoring the lesser self”–wow, that’s wisdom, eh?! Take good care of you, Ivy….and here’s a hug for Doug 🙂

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  5. Random can be our spice of life without even realizing it…everyone needs some change in their routine sometimes. Yours was a different kind of day and place for you…random. 😊

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  6. What?! You saying “random” has a bad name? Why I barely write even random! LOL
    I always enjoy reading your posts Ivy. But ya know, I think I’ve become a random reader. Shame on me. All caught up in my own….
    Have to go read your post from yesterday. Didn’t know there was screaming men involved.
    Oh, poor Doug. I’ve never had a seizure but I bet they’re not at all pleasant. And scary for you. He’s doing great for 16 it seems to me. It’s never easy contemplating the end of our beloved canine’s last days.
    Get better Z! Tuesday is almost over!

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    1. The dougster IS doing great. At this age an occasional seziure is small stuff…my dad was a severe epileptic so the seziure thing is old hat….and we didnt have to put my father down either…hahaha….oy.

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  7. Glad to hear that your co-workers group felt good in your space! I only wish you were doing better!

    I can’t remember the name and status of Doug’s traveling companion (in the top pix). Looks like another awesome individual. Maybe you could steal him from somewhere.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

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