Random Is as Random Does


Why is it that some people are just more approachable than others?

Even when I am trying to be unapproachable it doesn’t seem to work. My therapist and I (funny guy, damn good therapist) decided to test it out. Whenever I run into  him, (we live and work in the same town and profession, so it’s often), he looks like he is on a mission to get in and get out. He is a very warm guy in his office, but if you don’t know him I am not the first to say he is not the most approachable guy. He will even admit to this. He seems to think that my problem with people thinking they can approach me is the signal I am putting off. Normally I would say he is correct, however even when I try not to it just doesn’t work. SO he suggested he would act like he suspects I do and I should do what he does and move quickly through a store, looking at my watch as if I am running late, grab what I need and leave. As me, he would make eye contact with people, perhaps try to start a conversation, move more slowly and browse. We chose a weekend and tested it out. He said that people looked at him like he had three heads. What happened for me? Two people asked me for the time.


I’m feeling really bad about my behavior yesterday. It was my first day working with my old friend (we haven’t worked in the same office in years) and I was not feeling well and he is the guy I go to when I want to bitch. I bitched all through lunch, and then left early because I was sick on top of it… real graceful.

He is such a good guy that when I called to apologize, he totally justified my crappy attitude. He humors me way too much.


39056596-d953-4ec5-af40-8b8331f2b9bbIs there a twelve step program for addiction to puppy cams?


I’m sure I  will get my rhythm to work and life back soon. I am just starting a new schedule and it has me thrown off a bit. I can tolerate my regular challenges if I am in the swing of things, but it’s too much to expect of myself to tolerate it all.




A few days ago I was feeling sorry for myself for having to sit later this week and next for IVs for my blood problem. God works in more obvious ways than I like to admit. Same day… I met a remarkable young man who was doing some handy work for a friend. He sits every other day for hours of dialysis. He is only in his twenties and has been doing this since his teens. I sucked it up pretty fast, and was grateful I hadn’t embarrassed myself by kvetching out loud.


f96d91aa-ef88-42a4-a9dd-19a7c0f0ff07Our rooster and one of our girls got killed the other night. Foxes have to feed their families too I suppose. We will miss them… and no more free ranging. Sorry girls.

FYI: Miss Daisy Dyllon is fine.

Off to get ready for work. Have a great day. I’m gonna do my best not to grouse. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can….



23 thoughts on “Random Is as Random Does

  1. Just when we feel like our lives are the suckiest, we find someone who’s life is suckier and has much more grace at handling adversity. Always a gratitude lesson from the Universe. And I am sure you would do the same for your friend, or someone else in a pay-it-forward situation. I think bitching and kvetching can be productive in sort of “it’s over, I can move on” kind of way.


  2. It’s a high risk manoeuvre*, to consider how much we signal the world (as to how we are to be regarded). I personally ascribe to that idea. But then again, I’m also of the opinion that we all live in a perfect world.

    *thought of Lizzi and the funny way they talk

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah I often like to think that we teach people to treat us the way we want to be treated however I truly don’t understand why people feel compelled to tell me about myself or to be intrusive when it’s not what I want. Maybe the Wakefield Doctrine can give me some insight


      1. I believe I addressed that with my statement that we all live in a perfect world.

        oh man! clearly I am the victim of the scourge of hypo-provocaturism. Where are the cries of ‘what the hell is he talking about?!!
        the most challenging thing in my own efforts at understanding the Doctrine is that the description of the perfect world is simply not necessarily accessible. Even more difficult is the notion that ‘I want to be (fill in the blanks with the ‘what the hell?’ thing about life) by the world….wth??!’
        good post
        hey!! where the hell do you keep the Six Sentence prompts (visual aid: rummaging through the refrigerator and the kitchen cabinets).

        Liked by 1 person

      1. THREE periods to an elipses, *please*!


        It might be unnecessary according to Webster, but it sure is pretty to look at, and FAR more elegant to say…


  3. Your grousing is pretty funny. As is the grocery store experiment. I’m thinking back on how I’ve interacted with you the last few years, and yeah, you’ve been very approachable.


  4. As an introvert and a highly anxious person, people still come and talk to me or pick the spot RIGHT NEXT TO ME and I’m like “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” sweet fuck. I don’t get it. It makes me sweaty and itchy and panicky. Well I never used to be like this. I didn’t mind it. Then I got sick and well, now I do mind it. Ugh, now I go shopping in the early morning when there’s less people. Sad.
    Anyways…I’m weird. Life’s weird. Your therapist sounds like he’s cool beans though even though he has a resting bitch face.


    1. When I got sick I definitely started feeling less comfortable around strangers. It’s a vulnerability. I spend half my life in therapy discussing that. So I don’t think either one of us is that Big a weirdo. And yeah he is a funny guy and he’s a decent guy but people often comment to the effect that he does have a resting b**** face.


  5. I agree with Val up there, a little venting is healthy, purges all the bad thoughts so we can make room for some fresh ones! Because of the nature of the clients we provide legal services for, there is not a single day that I am not humbled by their ability to survive and still be pleasant and hopeful with all they have on the table to deal with. It keeps me mindful of how small my own little problems are when put in proper perspective. You amaze me every day, Ivy, with your determination to keep going and giving and still finding the energy to share a message or a kitty cam pic. To me the lesson is, if she can, what’s my excuse? I am eager for your new work routine to fall into place, I know you are going to be BUSY, but I also know you’ll love three days in a row off work to rest, relax, and do a few things you enjoy! I am sorry the feathered girls must now be cooped, where I live they would be coyote snacks, as are any kittens born to feral moms. It’s hard to accept this is the natural cycle of life, but we certainly don’t have to feed them our friends, feathered, furred or otherwise! 🙂


  6. I think a little bitching to vent, every now and again, is highly necessary. It’s when it becomes a habit ya gotta watch out.

    Your experiment sounds like fun, and I hope you have a few less people coming to you to cleanse your aura or whatever. THAT sounds like it has its time-limit as a participant sport.

    SO GLAD Mizz Daisy Dillon is still alive, but BOOO about the others 😦

    Hope your day improved.


  7. I always have to wonder about the signals I give to the world. I personally love “internet signals” where I don’t have to think about body language all the time. LOL.
    Hope you’re well…hang in there. 🙂


  8. Interesting test re approachability…(approachableness?). I’m definitely not approachable–got the frown/scowl thing down, don’t even need to wear a watch to look at; and I move as fast as my fat arthritic hips will go. So I guess it’s a surprise to people when I suddenly smile at them and say something pleasant…

    Re ‘kvetching’/’grousing”–it’s better to do it, at least here on the blog, than to stuff all the crap down where it poisons your insides. Get it out, girl, get it OUT!! xxoo, Stella–shouting from her lovely new blog!!!! (the old one will be gone soon)


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