“Better ten times ill, than one time dead,” is an old Yiddish saying that I’m pretty sure I could have tattooed on me and no one would object to its appropriateness for my particular situation. This month marks the 26th year of having a rare and downright weird diagnosis that changed my life and continues to challenge it regularly. I’ve seen a lot of people (family, friends and acquaintances) with the same screwy illness come and go. It hasn’t been easy, ever. I feel fortunate because it hasn’t completely kicked my butt, and 16 years beyond my given prognosis I can still say that most days I agree with the above saying. It just comes naturally, for the majority of us anyway, to push to survive. Now living… that’s a whole different animal.
“If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance.” Bernard Williams I think of June as a cocky little bastard. A lot of crap has hit the fan over the years in June. You’re just gonna have to take my word for it about that, but June… not a fan. Where’s the grats you may ask? Well I suppose that I’ve come out the other side; that I am not much of an anniversary type person so I suspect it doesn’t hit me as hard as it might to revisit this time of the year. I guess also that I’ve learned over the years to look at things through a more practical rather than the purely emotional lens through which one is often tempted to look at the rough patches.
In rereading both of those opening paragraphs I realize I’m truly grateful for not being born in the wrong time. Granted maybe this illness wouldn’t have been around in a different era but, I am grateful to live in a time when I can be treated and have had the opportunity to avail myself of enough medical expertise to pull through tough situations. That in the time I’ve had it, a reasonable treatment has been developed and was available through clinical trials. That I have a pretty cool support system that comes to my aid when I start to grow a second head and need multiple tests and treatments to avoid it becoming sentient. Those same people have pulled me out of June’s hot sweaty grasp more than once I’m sure.
I’m sure there’s at least ten things there to be grateful about, but just in case let me add a few more:
- Douglas the wonder dog
- People who enter my contests… and the winner is…*drumroll* Josie over at Josie’s Journal wrote the winning entry to the black out poetry contest and gets to browse Richard Hoebel’s Photography blog for a photo print of her choice.
- Thanks to everyone else who entered!
- Thanks to David our judge, who seems to enjoy judging these things…either way I appreciate it!
- Thanks to Richard for being such a good bud and also providing access to a really cool prize!
- I’m also grateful to be going to my first Farmer’s Market of the season tomorrow morning.
Have a great weekend. Ivy and Doug, zoe and skip, zelda and Heronimous, Marquesa and Julio, Avery and Henry… I could go on and on and on….