That question up there is for me. I don’t expect anyone to do anything about my unsticking but me…and maybe Joulie.
Well okay. Maybe not Joulie…
Either way as is my pattern, I work on things and modify, but it also takes me until about March to finally decide on what it is that really needs doing. Like, I know what my needs are for the most part but this process is one of steps and breaking things into their essential parts.(See Unsticking 2015-16 for details)
As of now I have come to a few conclusions based on my vision board of last week and my basic desired direction.
- I am dedicating myself to the pursuit of aligning my body and mind. I believe this is goal #4 from last weeks post. My body has been in a war for years with health issues and after almost thirty years ( I am a very slow learner) I realize I never let my head and my body live under the same set of rules and my head really does rule the roost so my body has both benefited and suffered from it. I am one of the longest survivors with my particular history and at the same time am probably one of the more exhausted ones. Not really, but this year I am finally realizing I can’t keep this pace any longer… so it it going to take a few specific steps (this is where the breaking down of items comes in).
- I need to change my work habits . This week I am leaving the more difficult of my two jobs and building my private practice. I have given my notice and am going to move on.
- I rented new office space as I am currently keeping my private practice in a very old building without an elevator. Even I can do the math on that one… big girl + one lame leg + ladderlike stairwell to office = get a stinkin’ elevator. So I rented new office space. It’s small, but affordable and in a great building where several friends also rent .
- I’m scared. It’s frightening to go out alone without a net, however I have to realize I have a net. I have a huge support network. I just need to learn to live with anxiety. Not let it envelope me. I don’t believe I will be anxiety free and don’t even believe that’s a reasonable goal so my subgoal is to learn to tolerate my fear.
- I am doing all of my specific health PT exercise and slowly increasing my endurance and decreasing the pain that pretty much landed me on my butt two months back. With treatment I am able to move enough to exercise. I am not one to forgo exercise for long so this hiatus has been difficult on my body yes… my head… fogettaboutit…
2. In keeping with goal #5 about spirituality it goes without saying much… it’s happening otherwise none of the other stuff would be working out. I also wanted to be part of something larger… My apologies to those who may have voted in our current president, as I want to insult no one…but I find this immigration policy (walls, stopping immigrants from coming in, threats of registries) appauling and want no part of anything, but the movement to put an end to it. I have begun some grass roots efforts with others and am seeking out relieable formats for doing something…what? I am not certain of as yet. I have made my intentions clear to register as Muslim if a registry is put into place, but so far that’s all I can specifically elude to. I am a peaceful person and would belong to nothing that infers or agitates violence… including our national policies.
3. In keeping with goal #6… my buddy Joulie and I had a great day yesterday because I could come home between meetings and lie on the floor and give her some much needed extra attention. She has certainly not been neglected I know but she has been asked to be very patient with me. Today we were able to walk a little farther up the road and yesterday was a great day of belly rubs and fetch.
So yep it’s begun and I’m thankful for it all. I have to clean off the kitchen table and start on old paperwork this weekend. One is in keeping with last years goal of keeping the table manageable ( but after Christmas that seems to be where I both made stuff and planted stuff.) The other goal is in keeping my earlier stated plan of moving on… I have to finish the work that I fell behind on in the past few months of health issues… it’s so odd but I have to stop myself from overdoing to catch up in order to meet my goal of slowing down… the human paradox I suppose…
Have a great weekend and I will keep you updated, and thanks for being interested enough to ask. SSS cue tomorrow.