DISCLOSURE? I DUNNO…

Friday Evening: somewhere around 6 p.m.

I’m lying here in front of my computer experiencing a minor stream of conciousness. My thoughts are running like so:

•  If I don’t get to writing I AM going to fall asleep here.
• Should I write this? I don’t know. I’m not much for full disclosure.
• I hope Douglas sleeps tonight. Please God, let him sleep. I need sleep.
• Man, Doug is bald. Mr. Bald E. Butt.
• Just because I write something doesn’t mean I have to hit publish.

This afternoon I cancelled a standing appointment that I keep every friday. I didn’t think I had the energy or the muscular strength to climb the stairs to the second floor. Sometime back toward Thanksgiving I started falling. Quite suddenly my legs became weak and I was losing my balance on a fairly regular basis.

Saturday Morning: 8:49 a.m.

• I fell asleep.
• Doug slept like a little lamb
• Doug looks like a little lamb after his haircut yesterday.
• I decided to try and go back to work today. So I will finish whatever I started up there later.
• Right now I have ten things to put down for all to see and review!

TToT TIME!: 8:53 a.m.

1. Doug got a haircut and bath and no longer makes me gag when I smell him coming my way.
2. Douglas. Just Douglas. He is helping me keep my sanity through this time of immobility which is not in my nature to tolerate with any sense of grace.
3. I am eternally  grateful for a job in which I sit on my butt for the majority of the day so that when I do get up it is usually in a carpeted office space and falling is at a minimum.
4. That at least one of my doctors has a brain in his head. NUFF SAID.
5. That my insurance company, while problematic, is cooperating this month. NUFF SAID.
6. For the love of IRL friends ( as Lizzi would call them) who check in and make me get out when I would prefer to hibernate and lick my wounds.
7. For the sensibility of acceptance. Don’t have to like it, may have to accept it.
8.  For as much as I self depricate, I truly think I tolerate the bullshit pretty well and for that I am thankful. I have been truly blessed with a decent b.s. meter and the ability to put things in their place.
9. That I still view many as less fortunate than myself and haven’t converted over to complete whiny-assed idiot yet.
10. That I have been able to write a bit more honestly in this new site and feel a bit freer to do so. (If You’re Reading This My Mother Must Be Dead)

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.

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