TToT: An Appreciation of the Absurd Things Mother’s Say and The SSS Cue of the Week (With a Caution for a Certain Clark)

Mom and grandson

I was talking to my mother the other day and she said something that I won’t share here, but I realized even in her late 80s she is continuing to change in positive ways. I don’t always cut her enough slack, but I have to say as life has gone on, she’s learned a lot. She has probably learned the most of that in the past ten years since the death of my father, but I appreciate that she is still learning. A tribute to we never stop learning I guess. That said, she also (like all of us) continues to aggravate the heck out of me with the ridiculous and her usual lack of patience with any change. I suppose most kids have this complaint with their parents and vice versa.

I was talking to my nephew the other day and we recalled this conversation:

  • Him: OMG! I am so happy you’re not my REAL mother! 
  • Me: You got a problem with that? Call DSS!
  • Him: I don’t know the number!
  • Me: See you won’t even do that for yourself! I have it on speed dial!

Not my shining parental moment…

Then there was this classic from my sister’s past with her son:

  • Her: Matthew, prunes are just big raisins ! EAT IT!

or this classic: Matt was obviously a picky eater…

  • Her: Look, you wanted the apple! You started the apple! I am not made of money for you to waste food! Apples do NOT grow on trees. EAT IT!
  • Him: What?

Just yesterday with my mother. I was going down to her home which is an hour from me. It was an unplanned trip. I usually see her every week, but I had previously said I couldn’t make it this week and made sure she was covered for anything she may need. BUT… best laid plans being as they are…

I was on the road about 30 minutes from her home when the call came in:

  • Me: What’s up, Mom?
  • Her: Well, you said you would be here early. Where are you?
  • Me: It’s 7:30, Mom, that IS early. But I said between 9 and 10.
  • Her: Oh, I thought you said early.
  • Me:  (ARGH! in thought only) See you soon.

images (2)…And then this morning. Yesterday I went down to her home with a new phone as hers was doing weird things and I know her anxiety is not worth living with that. SO I came with a new phone system and set it up. This morning. Not a full 24 hours later…

  • Me: Hey you’re using the new phone!
  • Her: Did you remember daylight savings? I figured I wasn’t waking you up if you did. (It was 7… actually 6 if I didn’t change the clocks yet.)
  • Me: I’m awake . What’s up?
  • Her: This phone is awful. It has to go.
  • Me: You seem to be doing fine with it.
  • Her: It took me forever to scroll through all the names to get to you! I can’t remember what to do!
  • Me: I wrote it down and put it on the end table by the phone remember? There’s just two buttons.
  • He: But it took me forever to scroll through all the names!
  • Me: Mom (mental head slap) there are 8 names on there. I think you can swing it. You just have to get used to it. I could get you cans and a string and you would have to get used to which name you need to holler into the can to get the right person.
  • Her: I suppose.
  • Me: Please be patient and keep trying… You will get used to it. It is just like the old phone.
  • Her: I’ll try.
  • Me: Great!

We went on to how to answer the phone and how difficult it is to find and  push the green button ( she has a tremor, but the button is bigger than on her last phone). You need to know my mother is not suffering from dementia…she has a loaded gun full of anxiety to her head at all times. I love her and am gonna miss her in a major league way some day.

SO enough with the gratitude for mothers ( no really that was gratitude).


Time for the SIX SENTENCE STORY cue of the week


He doesn’t like to get it before Wednesday… Living on the edge that one…

This week’s cue is CON’TRACT or is it CONTRACT’?


9 thoughts on “TToT: An Appreciation of the Absurd Things Mother’s Say and The SSS Cue of the Week (With a Caution for a Certain Clark)

  1. I especially loved “loaded gun full of anxiety to her head at all times”–I can appreciate that, though I’m getting better (my neighbor told me so, thus it must be true…:) ). I don’t like (learning to use) new things, ‘specially things like phones–don’t even ask me about the free phone I got from the government… Thanks for the new Cue, you know I live for each one!! Long-distance hugs, prayers for BIG blessings to you…and “hi” to Darling Doug 🙂 Azul


  2. I nodded a lot as I read this. I love my mother dearly. She’s sharp as a tack. But she’s a total fruit loop! 😀 And yes, she drives me absolutely batshit crazy. I think that’s probably why I love her so much.
    Apples don’t grow on trees…. bwahahahahaaa!


  3. I think all parents have not-so-stellar moments. I remember you mentioned the prune comment to me before. Love the “Apples don’t grow on trees” bit!
    No matter how you might feel inside, your outside conversations with your mother are filled with patience and kindness.


  4. That new telephone? I’ve had those very same conversations with my mom. My brother made my mom a facebook page, but she can’t navigate the site, so she calls me for instructions. And she clicks EVERYTHING, so she always has a million windows open and then the computer runs slowly and pictures just disappear from the computer. GAHHHH! And I’ll miss it terribly some day.


  5. Oh dear! I think I am at the “mother” age in this story and I’m sure at times my kids slap their heads in despair as we visit on the phone. Yes, mothers can hear the rolling of eyes! 🙂 And then I think of my interactions with my own mother when she was older (she only lived to be 67), at times they were very frustrating and difficult, and yet now I would give anything to hear her voice on the phone. I tell my kids that my commentary is in the “mothers handbook” and there are things I simply must say and do, like reminding them to take their gloves and hats when it is freezing out… even if they are 36 and 40 respectively!! 🙂 I just remember to end every conversation with I love you, I didn’t always hear that enough, and I didn’t always say it often enough either!


  6. Mothers are amazing and insane, i should know, i have and am one. When my mother goes, i’m going to miss her like crazy, too. Although my mom keeps getting new phones and complaining because dad can’t keep up!


  7. So great that even in her 80s your mother is still changing in positive ways. My dad was the same and my mother is too.
    And great that you can appreciate the other times too!


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